Do Something This Weekend of Nov. 7, 2008
“Hello. I’m Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It’s all lies. But they’re entertaining lies. And in the end, isn’t that the real truth? The answer is: No.”1
Geek Out
Entertaining lies! I’ve been waiting for a month to plug this in a weekend post. Start Trekkin’ is a longform improv comedy group that improves entire episodes of Star Trek live, on stage. As with all improv, it may be hit-or-miss, or it may be a transcendent best. episode. ever. That’s what makes improv exciting. My only beef is that the group sticks to the original series. I’d love to see some TNG improv. A minor complaint, though. Catch “Start Trekkin’” tonight at 10:00, at the Sage Theater (711 7th Ave.). Admission is $10. If you can’t make it tonight, Start Trekkin’ has a hilariously old-school website, but it looks like the official Facebook page gets updated more frequently.
Geek In
Get a silk bag from the graveyard duck. In 1989, when you got stuck in a Nintendo game, there was no GameFAQs to consult, and if the answer wasn’t in the latest issue of Nintendo Power, you had only one option, the Nintendo tip line. After begging your parents to allow the 85-cent-a-minute call (or whatever the rate was), you could pose your question to these seeming oracles of the 8-bit world, and they would set you on the path to victory.
Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest might have been designed to boost those tip line revenues. Part of an unholy triumvirate of “WTF?” NES sequels (along with Zelda II: The Adventure of Link and the American Super Mario Bros. 2), Simon’s Quest was a clever game hampered by terrible translation. Diverging from the linear play of Castlevania, the sequel took more of an exploratory approach, which would have been fun if the game gave you any idea what to do next. Unfortunately, all of the in-game clues got mangled in translation, so the villagers gave you bizarre “hints” that, while helpful in their original Japanese, made no sense in English.
I remember calling the tip line and asking about a “graveyard duck” that could supposedly be found in Simon’s Quest. “There’s no such thing as a graveyard duck. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the tip-line guru said. It was the first time the tip line had let me down, and I wasn’t just disappointed; I was angry. A woman in the village told me I could get a silk bag from a graveyard duck, I insisted. I stayed on the line to argue with the guy, sacrificing more of my allowance by the second, but he kept telling me I was confused and/or making things up.
Now, with the Internet, not only can I prove that I was not lying about the graveyard duck, but Simon’s Quest becomes a tolerable game. When you get stuck, GameFAQs exists, and it is good, and all is right with the world. You can get Simon’s Quest on the Wii virtual console, and there may be ROMs floating around on those unmentionable corners of the Web.
All contents copyright © 2007-2009 John Teti.
