Today’s cartoony presentation of the new Google Chrome browser was a smorgasbord of automotive analogies. Graphical analogies, no less! It was not hard to choose the strangest one.

Old virtual machines = Volkswagen bug. Understood. Then the other shoe drops.

All right, I get that the guy in the middle is supposed to be email. Then the guy to the mailman’s right is apparently some sort of nerd. A little broad, but OK. I’m still with you, kind of.

What about the guy on the left, though, with the big hair? My best guess is that he’s some fatcat executive. First question: What does he have to do with JavaScript? I’m thinking maybe he’s the embodiment of Google Docs, but that’s a stretch. He breaks the metaphor even more than the nerd.

Second, more pressing question: WHAT IN TARNATION IS HE DOING BACK THERE? At least Anthropomorphized Email Guy and Central Casting Nerd are taking the close quarters with a quiet dignity. Aqua Velva CEO seems to be downright enjoying himself, furthering the dismay of his colleagues.

The longer I look at this bizarre image, the more I am convinced that my crusade against car analogies is just.