I get the feeling that when NBC purchased the broadcast rights to the Olympics, they got a whole bunch of beach volleyball on sale, and now they have to get rid of it all before it goes bad. Bitching about the TV coverage may be the most tiresome sport of the Olympics, but forgive me because beach volleyball places a close second.

Beach volleyball is a fine game; it’s just that there is so much of it.¹ The words “Misty May” are on the verge of losing all meaning; if there’s any detail of May’s life that has not been conveyed to me in a soft-focus human interest piece, it must be terribly obscure.

Whenever I’m stuck watching the 17th preliminary qualifying provisional warm-up practice round of any sport (but especially beach volleyball), my mind turns to one thing: This is time that would be better spent on table tennis.

The intensity of table tennis competition in the Olympics—indeed, its mere presence—is among the Games’ most charming quirks. A sport mainly restricted to rec rooms in the Western Hemisphere gets to give out medals just the same as the one given to the fastest man in the world. And table tennis offers more than novelty; it’s exciting to watch on its own merits. The pros do borderline-magical things with that plastic ball. I want to see more of it.

Sure, there is the official NBC Olympics site, where you can watch footage of all the Beijing events. It’s a great resource (despite using the cruddy Silverlight plug-in), yet it would be nice to have some commentary from a former player who could illuminate the game. Most of the analysis on the NBC site comes from AP reports, which offer little beyond raw scores and gems of insight like this:

When the Chinese bounced back to take the third game, the audience waved their arms and Chinese flags.

Notwithstanding the paucity of information, I’ve sifted through the table tennis action so far to find a few highlights. I can’t embed video from the copyright-frantic NBC mothership, so links will have to suffice.

Men’s Team Group C, Brazil vs. South Korea: The 2008 Olympics eliminated the doubles event and replaced it with a hybrid “team” event. It’s a best-of-five-matches format, and the third match in each contest is a doubles match. The rest are singles. The change may have inflamed passions in the table-tennis world. I’m indifferent. Doubles is cool but crowded.

The first two matches of this contest are the most exciting. In the first, Brazilian Thiago Monteiro keeps the Korean Ryu Seung Min off balance and manages to entertain dreams of the upset. Not long after, the Korean team stops toying with its opponents and destroys them in a flurry of velocity and topspin.

Watch for the moment in the Monteiro-Ryu match when the two competitors take a break from the action to look for their ball. (Really!)

You may wonder why some players hold their paddle like a tennis racket and others hold it like a pen. Buried in the NBC site is a nice explanation of the different grips from American table-tennis Olympian David Zhuang. (Look in the upper-right corner of the linked article text.)

Women’s Team Group A, China vs. Croatia: This is a one-sided contest, but it gives you a taste of the Chinese crowd’s passion for the sport. The venue is mostly empty for these early round-robin showdowns, but they still manage to make a lot of noise as the Chinese women embarrass the Croatian players, whose circumspect coach doesn’t have any answers for his charges. Croatian Tamara Boros likes to throw in an ultra-high serve, which is always fun to watch even if it doesn’t do her much good.

The contest was marred by tragedy when a member of the Chinese delegation was struck by a stray NBC Olympics logo.

Women’s Team Group B, Singapore vs. United States of America: Here’s one for the patriotic viewer, although you might not enjoy the result. Hopefully, NBC will post a replay soon of the Group B Netherlands vs. United States contest, where the U. S. of A. fared a little bitter.

Pro player Larry Bavly offers running commentary in a text box below the video on this one. That feature is defunct on most of the footage, but it’s a treat here.

Men’s Team Group C, Sweden vs. South Korea: I confess, I didn’t finish watching this match. I did, however, enjoy the video feed’s extensive look at the pre-game preparation rituals. Above you see an official wiping the table clean.

Then he gets out a ruler and measures the net. Yup, six inches high, just like it was yesterday, and the day before that. This is not what the guy had in mind when he said he wanted to work in professional sports when he grew up.

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1. Obviously, beach volleyball is given an excess of primetime slots because of the the T&A factor. It is fun to watch the NBC commentators pretend that their wall-to-wall coverage of the skinfest is rooted in some serious journalistic choice. ↑