When you read my paean to the daily Price is Right show recaps on Golden-Road.net, it probably didn’t seem possible that I undersold them. But honestly, I did.

Beyond the best-in-class game recaps, previously discussed, are the recap discussion threads. Sure, there’s a lot of chaff there, mostly by members who post gripping tales of how they played the game at home. (“Half the chatroom were split on the 1 and the 7. I was one of the ones that guessed the 7.”) Hidden among the monotony, though, is some high geek drama.

The latest episode to set the recap forums aflame comes courtesy of GR.net user Voltron291, who joined the May 29 recap thread to post his 1850-word recap of his recent trip to the show. Note the title at the top of Voltron’s post: “Part One.” This is only part one!

“Volty,” as he’s known on the boards, is a pricing savant, perhaps the ultimate TPIR geek. Plenty of fans know the intricacies of the show’s production, but Volty is part of an elite group that has committed to memory the prices of bedroom furniture, menstrual cramping pills, jet skis, trips to Puerto Vallarta, etc. I love that there are people out there like this.

But hubris fells even the noblest geek. As we learn in the first part of Voltron’s epic yarn, trouble arises when, despite being at the head of the line, he is told by a page that he has to sit in Row 4 and should not attempt to assist any of the on-stage contestants. Turns out the show staff has noticed his pricing abilities, along with his tendency to inform dozens of people in line that they should look to him for the winning answers. He protests the show’s decision, to no avail.

By this point [show-runner] Roger [Dobkowitz] tells the page … to offer us seats in front of Rich’s podium which he thinks are better seats, but obviously we’re not going to stand for that. Eventually it gets to a point where the page tells us [executive producer] Syd Vinnedge said we can’t sit in the front, and at that point I know it’s over and we’re stuck where we are in the 4th row.

Tensions escalate during the showcase round.

Showcases: After I see the furniture, I know Michael is going to pass, and I signal to April’s group to bid $17,200 – she ends up bidding $15,500 which I thought wasn’t too bad. However, during the 2nd showcase, someone from the producer’s table gets up and blocked my view of the turntable so that I couldn’t see Michael and Michael couldn’t find me in the audience. Instead, I signal to Michael’s group in the front row to bid $30,000, and at which point my mom tells me that every last person at the producer’s table was looking directly at me while I was trying to signal. I looked back angrily at them and they all turned away.

See that looking glass? We’re through it, people.

I was eager for Part Two, and Voltron did not disappoint, with a 3,300-word tome in the June 2 recap thread. In this installment, Voltron is pulled from line and given a lecture by longtime TPIR producer Roger Dobkowitz himself. Roger gives Volty the old Vegas back-room treatment, asking the Rainman of pricing games to kindly STFU or leave. It’s worth reading the entire thing, but here’s the nut:

Roger used an analogy to compare what these terms and conditions were — he compared it to catching a card counter in Las Vegas — if they are caught, they have to either comply (which they likely won’t) or they will get banned from coming back.

Comments in the wake of Voltron’s now-complete epic predictably split into camps of “Sensible”…

[I]t probably didn’t help your case that you made literal arrangements with the first 50-100 people in line to be the “go-to-guy.”

and “Other”:

Wow, Roger, you just opened up a can of worms that I’m not so sure you’re prepared to close. I think it’s time that, if someone from the show actually does read this forum, we’re going to need some real answers.

Aside from being hilarious, this is a textbook example of why TV shows are wary of their most hardcore fans. I worked at a popular, long-running cable show for a couple years, and we always treated the rabid portions of the fanbase like they were radioactive (or, for that matter, rabid). That’s mostly because they were really annoying, but also because any unnecessary contact could result in rage and heartache.

The upside, of course, if you don’t work at TPIR, is that you get to sit back and enjoy the taut psychological thriller that is the GR.net recap threads. Hooray for the Internet.