I always enjoy exploring the idiosyncratic lexicons that fan bases develop on the Internet. Fandom thrived before newsgroups and PHP message boards were common, but the rate and quantity of communication on the web make fertile ground for neologisms.

Case in point: the First-Run The Price is Right recaps on Price is Right fan forum Golden-Road.net. Regular readers know that I’m a game-show fan, and TPIR is the undisputed king of the mountain. It’s also one of the most accessible shows on television. Lights flash, music plays, “A NEW CAR!” etc. So you’d expect that the recaps would be user-friendly, as well.

But they’re not. These dense, borderline impenetrable documents are ornate box scores—with some commentary (e.g., “STUPID BID”)—encapsulating the day’s TPIR action. Here’s the entry (taken from the much longer full recap) for a recent segment of primetime TPIR in which the game “Pocket Change” was played:

3   (Samsung) 52” LCD HDTV (A&L)
Rita 4600 +Dewey 3800 +Jeremy *3900 CHRISTOPHER 2800 ($4298)

Jeremy plays POCKET ¢HANGE for a LINCOLN! MKZ (Std., GPS, Wheels, Stereo, Prot)(G)

1st		.25				3
2nd				12579		2		X
		.50				7		X
		.75				5		*		(11)		.05		.30
3rd				12–79		9		X
		1.00				7		X
		1.25				2		*		(18)		.10		.40
4th				1––79		7		*		(16)		.00		.40
5th				1–––9		9		*		( 6 )		.10		.50   LOSS

It’s like you were there, right?

In fact, from this mess of numbers and symbols, a trained eye can discern that the players in Contestants’ Row bid on an HDTV, as shown off by models Amber Lancaster and Lanisha Cole, and Christopher was the first bidder. With a $3,900 bid, Jeremy (one of the first four contestants called up, as indicated by the “+” sign next to his name) got up on stage, where model Gabrielle Tuite fondled a $35,279 Lincoln MKZ sporting the standard equipment package plus GPS navigation, chrome wheels, high-end sound system, and paint & fabric protection. Jeremy lost the “Pocket Change” game due to some early missteps and some unlucky choices on the board.

Even if you’re not a game-show person, I encourage you to peruse the recaps and be awed. To decode the recaps—which, by the way, are written for every new TPIR episode by one man on the Golden Road forums, Joe Capitano—it helps to be a lifelong fan of the show with an eye for minutiae. I fit that bill, but I still found the lingo impenetrable, so thank heavens for the Golden-Road.net Survival Guide. This page provides a welcome glossary to the myriad catchphrases used by the show’s online fans. The definitions give you a deep, hilarious insight into the culture. Excerpts:

Exacta - A pricing game win where the contestant does not make a single mistake.

Wipeout - When a contestant loses a game based on blowing any and every opportunity they had to win anything, or losing completely on a first pick.

[…]

Stupid Bid - Said during one-bids when a contestant bids stupidly. (i.e. Bids $1 LESS than the previous bidder, bids $1 as either the 2nd or 3rd bidder, or makes a severely low bid.) Might have “2nd” or “3rd” in the middle depending on how many overbids there are.

Suicide Bid - Similar to “Stupid Bid,” but used during the final One-Bid.

Smeghead Gambit - When a contestant somehow manages to win a one-bid with what would otherwise be a “Stupid” or “Suicide” bid. Smeghead is the television show Red Dwarf’s term for an idiot.

[…]

The Dob - Nickname given to Roger Dobkowitz, longtime producer of The Price Is Right.

Can’t Stop the Dob - A situation where a contestant loses a difficult pricing game; refers to the fact that Roger sets up each pricing game. Alternately, “Stopping the Dob” refers to a contestant winning such a game.

Can’t Stop the Dom - A play-on-words referring to Roger’s recent obsession with replacing various games’ prize and grocery labels with new ones written in the Dom Casual font.

I promise you those are not made up or facetious, not even the last one.

This type of extreme nitpicking probably strikes some people as weird, but to me it’s a sign of all that is pure and good on the Internet. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy obsession. Almost everybody has one; some people are just more willing to admit it. I laugh at the Golden Road recaps and the surrounding culture not because I look down on them—quite the opposite. You have to admire the relentless effort of someone like Joe Capitano, recap king.

No, I laugh because the geekiness is so unapologetic. I mean, honestly, “Can’t Stop the Dom”? Priceless. The banner at the top of the site says (for now, at least) “There’s no such thing as too much information,” and the Golden Road TPIR recaps exemplify what I mean.