I was chatting with Robot Village resident Nathan (mentioned in the last post of the "X-Mas X-Tacular" or whatever it was called) about a soldering kit the other day. He mentioned that many people buy the Village's solder-required robot kits to build up their skills with an iron before proceeding to mess with more delicate wares. One guy had recently purchased a soldering kit so that he could build up the confidence to hack his Wii. I told Nathan that the Sound Reversing Car was helping me toward a similar end: to repair the circuit board on my Star Trek: The Next Generation pinball machine.

I lied. Sound Reversing Cars, pinball machines—these are just intermediate steps in my larger quest. My quest to become a space pirate.

Go ahead, laugh. For whatever reason, space piracy still is not an acceptable "life goal" in our backward society. My wife is always badgering me: "Give up this stupid fantasy," "Find a real job," "Put on a clean shirt," and so forth. No. I must pursue my passion. A fortune cookie once told me to "hold on to my dreams" and that my lucky numbers are 9, 42, 37, 11, and 30. The numbers didn't work out so great, but it was a pretty delicious cookie, so I figure it had to be at least half right.

Now that I've put the idea in your head, admit it, you're kind of enamored with space piracy, too. Sailing the open space-sea, riding the space-waves, following nobody's space-rules but your space-own. If you're going to be a mate on my ship, though, you're going to need soldering skills. When the mobo on the Astro-Galleon 5000® goes on the fritz, the last thing I need is some landlubber who can't repair a cold joint on an IC. Did that last sentence make any sense? I don't know. Let's learn together and find out.

I spent the weekend assembling two soldering kits, but before I get into the details, let's review the central principles of soldering.

1. Apply heat to the metal parts you are trying to join, not to the solder.
2. Be careful with the soldering iron because it operates at a high temperature.
3. Try to keep the profanity to a minimum when you ignore #2 and burn the bejesus out of yourself.

First up was the Electronic Game Kit from Make Magazine.¹ Once all the parts were soldered in place, I turned the gizmo on to start playing. The game went like this: The chip on the circuit board got really, really hot, and the object was to avoid touching the really, really hot chip. That was it. A little more subtle and self-referential than I was expecting, but still a fun game.

After consulting the online instructions, I learned that you could also use this kit to play a game of "Simon." All you have to do is solder on the battery holder the correct way, instead of backwards. I tried the following-the-directions way, and it was fun, too.

So this kit is two games in one. Battery holder installed correctly: "Simon." Battery holder installed backward: "Captain McBurnsalot." That's an excellent value. The Make Electronic Game Kit receives four out of five space parrots.

Next came the Sound Reversing Car kit. According to the box, "Sound Reversing Car is a voice control robot car by using microphone as its detector," but that does an understatement! In fact, this small kit, it is teaching a lot of basic robots and electronic equipment of the time in order to provide the fun you and your family.

Unlike the Electronic Game, which ended up a burnt, lead-pocked landscape of electronic despair (albeit a functional one), the car robot made it through the birthing process largely injury-free. When I flicked the switch, the robot responded like a true space pirate: It did absolutely nothing. See, space pirates are a ruthless sort. They won't lift a finger unless you provide them with incentive.

Some investigation revealed that, much like a drunken space lass at a remote port of call, the switch housing was loose. The defective component steadfastly refused to complete a circuit, and lacking any booty that would tempt my insolent robot into action, I instead roughed it up by squeezing the "on" end of the switch with a pair of pliers. The car sprang to life; it has been a model citizen since then. Negative reinforcement works. Perhaps the wonky switch wasn't a defect at all, but a test for help my betterment of robots edification.

Sound Reversing Car receives 4½ out of five pictures I found Googling for pirate clichés before I got tired of this whole space-pirate conceit.

Next week: Program virtual functions in C++ as you train to become an underwater ninja!

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1. I could have made the robot first, but if I am going to solder a robot life into this world, I figure I should practice on the game first. Even space pirates have morals. ↑